Parenting is…

Jeff and I were in agreement: politeness is taught by example only. It is hardly polite toward the child to be told, “What do you say? What do you say now?! Say please!” I watch my sister-in-law engage in this practice. It’s funny how rude the parents are to the child all the time. Sure, she learned to say ‘please’ before ‘elmo’ but is politeness really about saying please and thank you? So much about being graceful and polite is about tone, manners, general kind disposition. It’s about respectful language and demeanor; about tact and consideration. How the hell do you teach that except in creating an environment where that’s the norm?Alex began saying”thank you” spontaneously at about 18 months. “Sorry” some time close to 20. “Please” in the last few days - going on 21. He has never once been reminded to say these things. Please is very new - though thank you and sorry he says reflexively - sometimes to a truck he just dropped or to a conveniently located basked, which contained his favorite train. We’ve also heard him say something like “excuse me” after sneezing.Go to a playground and pick out a random parent interacting with his or her child. Count the number of times when a polite word was appropriate and missing. Count the number of times one was used. Then try to figure out why children are so often impolite!